I Don't Want You to Die with an Unlived Life: A Sincere Guide to Self-Therapy

By Burak Aktaş, Founder of Mindeln Software Engineer and studying at RWTH Aachen University, Self-Therapy Practitioner

Maybe you feel it too. That overwhelming sense of chaos, the weight of too much responsibility, and the quiet, persistent echo of unresolved traumas. In the modern world, we are taught how to build careers, how to optimize our schedules, and how to present a "perfect" version of ourselves to the world.

But we aren't taught the one thing that actually matters: how to be aware of our own existence.

I've spent nights crying, thinking, and writing about the things around me for days in a row. Those days were painful brutally so. But you know what's more painful? Letting those traumas stay there lifelong. Letting them dictate who you love, how you work, and how you see yourself until you die with an "unlived life."

This is my genuine knowledge for someone who has a sincere desire to go beyond their struggles and to finally begin resolving childhood trauma through proven self-therapy methods.

1. Recognition: The "Bad Software" We Inherited

Everything starts with recognition. You cannot fix a machine if you don't know how it's broken.

We all have similar psychological patterns, and most of the time, we've just found bad methods to compensate for what happened to us. Think about a child who was constantly ignored. As an adult, that person doesn't just "get over it." They develop a compensation pattern.

In the Mindeln framework, we see three common paths:

Overcompensation: You talk too much. You dominate conversations because you are terrified of being invisible again. You are fighting to be heard.

Surrender: You become passive. You reject your own needs because you've accepted the "fact" that you will be ignored anyway.

Neglect: Because you didn't recognize your own pain, you accidentally start neglecting others, repeating the cycle.

What we need to understand is that people are being "good" at least to themselves. Your angry teacher, your humiliating doctor, or your cheating partner they aren't just "bad people." They are running on faulty software they learned from their own parents and their own traumas. Recognizing this doesn't excuse them, but it frees you. It means their behavior isn't a reflection of your worth.

2. The Logic of Change: Why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a Rewiring Tool

When I started my journey, I didn't build Mindeln as a business. It built me first. I became aware of my own anger patterns and high anxiety problems. Eventually, I realized that what I was doing was essentially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) one of the most evidence-based approaches to self-therapy.

CBT is often treated as a clinical term, but it's actually the most logical way to approach self-therapy. It's based on two simple truths:

• Psychological problems arise partly from faulty thinking patterns and learned unhelpful behaviors.
• By learning more effective ways of thinking, you can change your life.

Emotions are Data, Not Destinies

We often ignore our emotions or let them drown us. But emotions have purposes. Anger is a sign that something happened against your values. Even depression, according to the analytical rumination hypothesis, has a positive evolutionary effect: it forces us to stop, stay still, and think about what is going wrong in our lives.

The "vulnerable part" of you the part that is reading this right now still has hope. If it didn't, you wouldn't be looking for answers. I encourage you to look inside. Talk to that part of yourself. Ask: "How did all of this happen?" Don't be too dramatic, too angry, or too sad. Just live your emotions calmly. Use the logic of CBT to realize that just because you thought you were weak doesn't mean you are weak. That was just a definition put on you by a wrong environment.

3. The Holistic Truth: Money, Circles, and Environment

You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. As a person who moved from Turkey to Germany at 21, studied at RWTH Aachen University, and worked since I was 19, I know that self-therapy isn't just about "thinking." It's about environment.

The Social Factor

Your social circle defines your reality. If you are surrounded by people who are not trustworthy, you will assume the whole world is the same. Sometimes, resolving your trauma through Mindeln requires a breakup from a group, or even from your family because they shape you in a way that gives you pain.

The Financial Factor

We have to talk about money. Being "limitless" doesn't guarantee happiness, but being limited does guarantee being unsatisfied. Money removes the forced limits that break our joy. Part of self-therapy is having the courage to change your financial state so you have the freedom to protect your mental peace.

4. The 5-Year War: Childhood Trauma Resolution is Worth the Effort

I've changed my psychological patterns one by one. I've changed my financial state, and I've changed my circle.

This journey of childhood trauma resolution took about 5 years. I went from an 18-year-old thinking that being lonely and unloved was my destiny, to a 23-year-old who understands that everything is improvable. There were hopeless times, and there were times I thought about self-harm. But I stayed on the way.

Every definition the world put on you "weak," "too much," "not enough" is likely wrong. You have the right to change the future, even when you think you do not.

Start Your Self-Therapy Journey with Mindeln

If you need to change your patterns, change them. If you need money, go get it. If you need a new circle, find it. Respect the science of psychology and use the self-therapy tools available to you.

I don't want you to die with unresolved childhood trauma. I want you to live.

Start your journey with Mindeln today a self-therapy app built from real experience, not just theory.

Thanks for your time and your sincere effort to prove to the world that people can do better.

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Burak Aktaş is the founder of Mindeln, a self-therapy application. He is a software engineer and studying at RWTH Aachen University in Germany, with personal experience in overcoming anxiety, anger patterns, and childhood trauma through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), IFS, and environmental change.