Why do people give me 100 reasons why I will fail?: Don't Take Their Fear
Do people tell you 100 reasons why you will fail? Learn why they try to 'give' you their fear and how to become immune to it.
What is The Fear-Giver?
The Fear-Giver is a pattern where people are overwhelmed by a scary world. They think everything is a danger. When they see you doing something brave or new, they try to give you their fear. They do this so they feel 'normal' for being afraid. If everyone stays on the ground, they don't feel bad for not flying.
Common Signs & Symptoms
The 100 Failures
As soon as you share a dream, they list every single way things could go wrong.
The Safety Trap
They always use words like 'dangerous,' 'risky,' or 'impossible' to keep you from moving.
The Memory Flip
After you win and become successful, they often say, 'I always knew you could do it!' even if they tried to stop you before.
Common Triggers
Big Dreams
Telling them about a new project, a new job, or a brave move you are making.
Taking Action
When you actually start doing the work and they see you leaving the 'safe zone.'
How People Usually Respond
Catching the Fear (Unhealthy)
Believing them and stopping your project because you feel the 'heavy' cloud of their fear.
Emotional Immunity (Healthy)
Listening to them but saying, 'Some help, some do not. I must keep going.' and staying strong.
Self-Therapy Approach
How to Build Your Immunity to Fear
1. Recognize the 'Gift' You Don't Want
When someone tells you why you will fail, imagine they are trying to give you a heavy, dusty backpack full of rocks. You don't have to put it on! You can just say 'No thank you' in your head and keep walking light.
2. Realize Why They Do It
They aren't trying to be mean. They are just scared. They want you to stay on the ground with them so they don't feel lonely. Once you see this, you won't feel mad; you will just see the truth.
3. Keep Talking to Everyone
You don't have to hide. You can talk to everyone! Some people will give you help, and some will give you fear. When you are 'immune,' the fear-givers can't touch your joy. You just listen, smile, and stay on your path.
4. Prepare for the 'Flip'
When you finally win, the Fear-Givers will come back and say they always supported you. Don't waste energy being angry. Just say 'Yes, sure' and keep building. You have bigger things to do.
5. Use the Mindeln App
Open Mindeln and use the 'Mission Shield.' It helps you look at the facts of your project versus the 'feelings' of others. Logic is the best medicine for fear. When you see the logic, you become unstoppable.
Start Your 3-Day Free Trial
Use Mindeln's structured approach to track and transform this pattern
When to Seek Professional Help
Talk to a guide if you feel like you have stopped dreaming because you are surrounded by Fear-Givers. If you feel 'paralyzed' by what others think, it's time to find a new tribe and strengthen your own mind.
Scientific Background
The Science of Social Anxiety Contagion
Emotional Contagion
Science shows that fear can be 'contagious' like a cold. When we see someone panicked, our brains release stress chemicals (cortisol). A Fear-Giver is someone whose 'Amygdala' (the fear center) is always on. They subconsciously try to spread that stress to others to lower their own social discomfort.
Cognitive Immunity
'Cognitive Immunity' is the ability of the brain to reject bad or unhelpful ideas. By using logic and First Principles, we can build a filter that only lets in useful information and blocks out 'junk fear.'
First Principle: Risk vs. Fear
Logic tells us that risk is a calculation (facts), but fear is a feeling (imagination). A Fear-Giver mixes these two up. At Mindeln, we help you separate the real risks you can fix from the imaginary fears you should ignore.
The Mindeln Approach
How Mindeln Makes You Unstoppable
At Mindeln, we don't believe in staying safe—we believe in staying smart.
The Mindeln Process
- Filter the Noise: Our tools help you separate 'useful advice' from 'toxic fear.'
- The Win History: Use the app to track your past wins. When you remember you won before, the Fear-Giver's voice gets very quiet.
- Stay in Motion: We give you daily steps to keep moving, because motion is the best way to leave fear behind.
Final Thought
Some people will help you build your tower, and some will tell you it's too high. Don't let someone else's fear be the reason you stop. You have won before, and you will win again. Use Mindeln to keep your logic strong and your dreams big.