Why Some People Can't Cheer for You? The Luck-Smasher Pattern
Do people say you just 'got lucky' when you win? Learn why they try to smash your success and how to protect your joy.
What is The Luck-Smasher?
The Luck-Smasher is a pattern where people try to make your hard work look like an accident. They feel like life is a race they are losing. When you win, they say 'You just got lucky' so they don't have to feel like a 'loser.'
Common Signs & Symptoms
Making It Look Easy
They say things like 'Anyone could do that' or 'It wasn't that hard' after you work very hard.
The 'Luck' Label
They give all the credit to luck or timing instead of your skills and effort.
Sadness When You Win
You see them get quiet or grumpy when you share good news.
Topic Jumping
As soon as you mention a win, they start talking about something else to take the light off you.
Common Triggers
Getting a 'Yes'
When you get a new job, a new partner, or a new chance that you wanted.
Financial Success
When you start to earn more money or buy something nice for yourself.
Winning Prizes
When you are rewarded for being the best at something.
How People Usually Respond
Explaining Yourself (Unhealthy)
Trying to prove how hard you worked to someone who wants to believe it was just luck.
Feeling Guilty (Unhealthy)
Feeling bad about your win because you don't want your friends to feel like 'losers.'
The New Circle (Healthy)
Realizing that as your life changes, you need friends who can celebrate with you.
Self-Therapy Approach
How to Protect Your Success from the Luck-Smasher
1. Stop Sharing Your Wins with Them
You do not have to tell everyone your good news. If someone always 'smashes' your win, stop giving them the chance. Keep your success for yourself and for the people who truly love you.
2. Realize the Race is Only in Their Head
They think life is a race and that your win means they are losing. But life is not a race. Everyone has their own path. Remind yourself: 'My win does not make them a loser, but I cannot make them see that.'
3. Accept That Circles Change
As you grow and your life changes, your friends might change too. This is normal. When you move to a new level of life, you will find new people who are happy for you because they are also winning.
4. Don't Believe the 'Luck' Lie
Luck is a small part of life, but hard work is the engine. Do not let someone make you feel like your effort didn't matter. You know how many hours you worked. Stay honest with yourself.
5. Use the Mindeln App
Open Mindeln and look at your 'Friendship Patterns.' See which people make you feel heavy after you share good news. When you see the pattern, you can choose to put some distance between you and the 'Smashers.'
Start Your 3-Day Free Trial
Use Mindeln's structured approach to track and transform this pattern
When to Seek Professional Help
Talk to a professional if you feel like you have to hide all your success to keep your friends. If you feel alone even when you are winning, or if you feel very sad about losing your old friends, a therapist can help you navigate these changes.
Scientific Background
The Science of Why People Call Success 'Luck'
External Attribution for Others
In psychology, when people see someone else win, they often use 'External Attribution.' This means they blame outside things like 'luck' so they don't have to admit that the other person is more skilled or worked harder.
Ego Protection
By calling your win 'luck,' the other person protects their 'Ego.' If it was just luck, then they don't have to feel bad about themselves for not having the same success. It is a way for their brain to stop feeling like a 'loser'.
Social Comparison Stress
Seeing a friend succeed can cause stress in the brain's social centers. For some, this stress turns into a need to 'smash' the success to lower the social gap. True emotional health means learning to be happy for others even when we are struggling.
The Mindeln Approach
How Mindeln Keeps Your Joy Safe
At Mindeln, we use science and honesty to help you see who is truly on your team.
The Mindeln Process
- Track the Feeling: Use the app to record how you feel after talking to specific friends about your wins.
- Identify the 'Smasher': Use the Mindeln Mirror to see that their words are a reflection of their own fear of being a 'loser.'
- Build a Strong Tribe: Mindeln helps you focus on finding connections that grow with you, rather than pulling you back.
Final Thought
Your hard work is real. Your wins are real. Don't let someone who is stuck in a race try to slow you down. Use Mindeln to find the truth about your patterns and keep moving forward toward your big dreams. Real friends will be waiting for you at the top.